Tag Archives: Faith

Take Me To The King!

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Every week, I watch NBC’s The Voice. If you happen to follow me on Twitter, you’ve probably figured that out by now. And every week, I am amazed by the talent that these artists have. Last night was far more amazing than usual. Last night, two artists took me to church in my own home as I watched them perform on television. Hearing their music reminded me of how awesome our God truly is. I will come back to that in this blog post in a bit.

So. It’s been five months since my last blog. Since I started blogging, I have never gone that long without posting. So much has changed in that short amount of time, including the fact that I am now a college graduate from the University of Mary Hardin-Baylor! Go Cru! My last blog post was about being denied entrance into seminary and how God continues to radically change my plans. I’ve come to realize that He always has better plans for us than we could possibly imagine. Having said that, as God continues changing my plans into His, I have decided to go straight into teaching and mentoring young people in the public school system. More details to come in a later blog post.

When the semester started, I was getting ready to begin a career of teaching through my role as a student teacher from the same school I graduated from in 2012! Not knowing what to expect, I went to Office Max, purchased more supplies than I could count, and started lesson planning for World Geography and World History. The time finally arrived. I now had the opportunity to do what I always dreamed of doing, teaching history and mentoring young people. The kids were amazing and life was going great!

Then, in mid-January, came the word I never ever wanted to hear again. Cancer. For the third time since my sophomore year in college, Dad had cancer. By the grace of God, he beat colon cancer not once, but twice. This time, the third time, it wasn’t in his colon, but in his lungs. Thoughts raced through my mind as I tried to grasp, “Why?” It was the same question as the first two times. Why?

I remember leaving a few hours after Dad told me the news to go to UMHB for Worship in the Quad, a ministry I had been blessed to help lead for the past 4 years. Before going to the quad to set up for worship, I went to go see Shawn Shannon, the Director of the Baptist Student Ministries and the most wonderful lady on campus. That night she prayed over me as tears streamed down my face, and then she showed me funny YouTube videos. She is without a doubt one of my favorite persons in this world.

After worship was over later that night, having cried during half of the songs, I shared with four of my closest friends, Katie, Mike, Taylor, and Alexis, the news. One by one, as I struggled to not get too emotional, they laid their hands on me and prayed right there under the stars. I will never forget that moment as I realized, as I have noticed time and time again, that we never ever walk alone.

Weeks later, after a number of radiation treatments, Dad got to ring that bell once again to signify that he was done with radiation. Although he has not had recent scans, I declare in my heart and with every fiber of my being that he is cancer free, and I can’t wait to blog all about that when it happens.

MyDadIsSuperman

My Dad is Superman!

As my Dad, a.k.a. Superman, battled cancer, along with so many other things going on, I noticed my faith drifting away from God somewhat. Living off-campus for the first time in my 5 years at UMHB, along with all of the other newness, I was overwhelmed with the drastic change of pace. I was not in the same environment any more. And while my family continued show their steadfast love for Christ and others, and while the many students, teachers, and college professors brightened my days, my faith was still struggling. Every time I did anything the least bit sinful, every time I fell short of God’s glory, I felt as if God was ashamed of me.

This lasted until UMHB’s Spring Revival, where for the first time, God revealed to me that He was not, has never been, and never will be ashamed of me. How dare I, even for one second, assume that what I think of me is exactly what God thinks of me!? Even though I have more shortcomings than I can count, Christ loves me, and He constantly yearns for me to turn back to Him.

I began feeling renewed. I felt His overwhelming presence sweep over me. While I still struggle with my faith from time to time, the Lord is still working in me, and no matter the sin in my life, no matter the trials my family and I face, God is still in control, and I should give Him my everything. My life should be for Him, about Him, of Him, and with Him.

When thinking about renewal, a couple of verses came to mind:

He gives strength to the weary and increases the power of the weak. Even youths grow tired and weary, and young men stumble and fall; but those who hope in the Lord will renew their strength. They will soar on wings like eagles; they will run and not grow weary, they will walk and not be faint. – Isaiah 40:29-31 (NIV)

Therefore we do not lose heart. Though outwardly we are wasting away, yet inwardly we are being renewed day by day. – 2 Corinthians 4:16 (NIV)

In all of life’s many circumstances, Christ renews us. He loves us. He changes us and molds us into His image. And He uses us for His glory. He uses every part of us even when we don’t realize it, which leads me back to watching NBC’s The Voice.

As the program started at 7PM Central time, I would not have imagined that I would eventually be lifting my hands high and praising God in the middle of watching a talent competition, but that’s what happened. And throughout the following day, I have been listening to those songs over and over. I’m still amazed.

At the end of last night, Aliyah Moulden performed an amazing rendition of MercyMe’s “I Can Only Imagine.” While I strive to serve King Jesus in all I do on this Earth, one thing is for certain, I cannot wait to see Him face to face. It will be so amazing and breathtaking that I truly “can only imagine what it will be like” when I see His face.

Surrounded by You glory
What will my heart feel
Will I dance for you Jesus
Or in awe of You be still
Will I stand in your presence
Or to my knees will I fall
Will I sing hallelujah
Will I be able to speak at all
I can only imagine!

What a day that will be! Aliyah certainly gave me goosebumps as she sang that song, as I was reminded of how awesome Christ is and what a wonderful day it will be when I finally get to see Him face to face. I can only imagine!

The other song that made a huge impression on me and brought me closer to Christ last night was Chris Blue singing, “Take Me to the King,” by Kirk Franklin and Tamela Mann. Earlier today as I listened to it again on the way home, I felt tears stream down my face. God was reminding me as He always does, “No matter what, I LOVE YOU!”

As I listened to the words, I realized that this song illustrates my thoughts perfectly. In the midst of the joy and pain, ups and downs, good times and bad times, my ultimate desire is to follow my Savior, my God. And so these lyrics are lyrics I cry out to God.

Take me to the king
I don’t have much to bring
My heart’s torn into pieces
It’s my offering

Lay me at the throne
Leave me there alone
To gaze upon your glory
And sing to you this song
Please take me to the king

…

Take me to the king
I don’t have much to bring
My heart’s torn to pieces
It’s my offering

…

Take me to the king!

And so with every part of me, with all I have, with these broken pieces, I give myself to God, my Lord, my Savior, my King. I want every part of me to be about my Savior, the King of Kings. I can only imagine what that day will be like when I see Jesus face to face.

Lord, until then, take me to you, lay me at your throne so I can gaze upon your glory. And use every part of me so that everyone may know that you live inside of me.

TAKE ME TO THE KING!

MercyMe. I Can Only Imagine. By Bart Millard, 1999. Google Play Lyrics. Web. 16 May 2017.

New International Version. Bible Gateway. Web. 16 May 2017.

Tamela Mann. Take Me To The King. By Kirk Franklin, 2012. Google Play Lyrics. Web. 16 May 2017.

“I Can Only Imagine” by Aliyah Moulden

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XXiOQv2L-So

 

“Take Me to the King” by Chris Blue

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8f_MGc8MJjk

I was just told no, and I’m okay with that!

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If you have been around me at all the past several months, you have probably heard me tell you about all the exciting plans I have. I just finished my last semester of classes as an undergrad at UMHB, I’m about to student teach back home in Florence, and then my plans were to go to seminary.

Not one bit of me will question God’s judgment in the plans He has for my future. Earlier this semester, He dramatically changed my desire from wanting to pursue a PhD in Political Science to a MDiv at Seminary. I thought that perhaps I finally discovered God’s will in my life. I am learning however, that I still don’t know for sure what my future holds, but His ultimate will for my life is to continually follow Him down any path He takes me.

Earlier today, I finally received feedback on the admissions process from Truett Seminary, where I thought I would be going after graduating from UMHB. In their discernment, the answer was “not at this time.” For a few minutes, I was overwhelmed with disappointment as I thought that it was certain, with my GPA, ministry experience, and my passions, that I would be accepted. As of now, however, seminary will not be in my immediate plans after graduation.

Although disappointed at first with their answer, I quickly became okay with it. As I did when I was pursuing the idea of a PhD in Political Science, I thought I knew what my plans were. I thought this is where God called me to be. And perhaps, He will at some point. And maybe He won’t. I can’t say for sure. What I can say is that I fully trust in whatever plans He has for me.

While I may not be going to seminary in the Fall of 2017, this doesn’t mean I can’t serve God by serving others. I have learned over time that God was calling me to ditch my plans for grad school in Political Science, as I have fallen more and more in love with in engaging and ministering to young people. God has blessed me with so many opportunities during my time at UMHB. I have been able to help organize Worship in the Quad for the past 3 1/2 years while encouraging students to share their testimonies as living examples of God’s great love, power, and grace. I have also had the opportunity to be a Cru Leader for the past 2 years, as I have been able to mentor these students, and now as I see them become excited about their success, my heart leaps for joy with them. These experiences and others have established in me the desire to uplift and encourage young people on a full-time basis.

When I was pursuing the Political Science PhD option, I had the desire to bring with me Worship in the Quad to any campus I went to. I also wanted to get plugged in with the BSM and other local ministries so that I could engage and pour into college students. It wasn’t until several years of these ideas that I realized that a PhD in Political Science was not for me.

The desire to engage young people is still a desire deep within me, and while I thought I would be doing this through going to seminary next year, I won’t be. As I am praying and discerning about my future plans, God may still have me going to seminary at some other point in the future. Yet if He doesn’t, I will be content with never pursuing seminary as long as I am pursuing Him.

In the meantime, I will student teaching next semester in the school district I spent 12 years of my life in. After I graduate in May, I will be certified to teach Social Studies anywhere in the State of Texas. And you know what? I couldn’t be more excited. Why am I excited? I don’t know what my plans are at this point, but I am excited because I know God will direct my steps. I will give everything I have in student teaching next semester, and if God blesses me with a teaching job after graduation, I will dedicate all my energy into pouring into the lives of my students. I want them to know how much I care for them. I want them to know that no matter what they set their hearts and minds to, they can achieve their wildest dreams.

To my future students, you may not know me yet, but I am here for you. I love and care for you. Whatever goals you have in life, pursue them and never let anyone tell you that you cannot achieve your dreams. I am achieving my dreams, because my dreams are to pursue God and to encourage and lead others in knowing how great the God I serve truly is.

And to my beloved university, I do not have sufficient words to describe how much I love the support you have given me. I love UMHB. I love the faculty, the staff, and the many friends I’ve made.

So with God in my corner, into the future I will go, with faithfulness and devotion, to you my Purple, White, and Gold!

Some words of encouragement:

“For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.” – Jeremiah 29:11

He has shown you, O mortal, what is good. And what does the LORD require of you? To act justly and to love mercy and to walk humbly with your God. – Micah 6:8

I consider my life worth nothing to me, if only I may finish the race and complete the task the Lord Jesus has given me – the task of testifying to the gospel of God’s grace! – Acts 20:24

When God radically changes your plans…

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So it has been about two months since I last blogged, and so much has happened since then. I am currently in my last semester of undergrad classes before I student teach in the Spring. As graduation approaches, the question of what to do next comes to mind. For the past 5 years or so, I thought that this important question was answered. I was going to pursue a PhD in Political Science after my time at UMHB.

Anyone who knows me knows that I have a love for the fields of History and Political Science. Topics such as Prohibition, the Civil Rights Movement, the American Presidency, among others have gripped my fascination for quite some time. I love studying History, and I love studying Political Science, and the ways in which the two intersect are endless and absolutely captivating. Even before I graduated from Florence High School, I just knew that I wanted to pursue a PhD in this field after I received my Bachelor’s Degree from Mary Hardin-Baylor. I just knew that I would become a high school History teacher and eventually a college professor, conducting research and writing lots and lots of books.

As my undergraduate career began to wind to a close, I started looking into graduate programs. In February, I visited Baylor. I met with a fascinating graduate professor and was given a tour by some wonderful PhD students. I’ve also considered the programs at the University of Texas as well as Texas A&M, all of them with different concentrations, but still, it was in the field I absolutely loved.

At the start of this semester, I began the process. I conducted extensive research into various programs, and I signed up for the Graduate Record Exam (GRE), which is essentially like the ACT for grad school, except much more difficult. A month ago, I took the GRE, and the week before taking it, I became more and more nervous. It was difficult failing practice after practice, knowing that I had to earn very competitive scores. And then I took the GRE. Needless to say, it was well below the threshold I needed to reach. This caused me to begin wondering, is this really what God wants me to do in life? Over the past month, I have struggled at times about not knowing what I was going to do after graduation, and this sometimes led to mild depression as what I had planned for years slowly drifted away.

Although I knew that I was allowed to retake the exam as many times as needed, and I could improve my scores with much more preparation, I still questioned God if this is really what He wanted of my life. I thought of alternatives. Maybe I would pursue a different graduate program. Perhaps I would pursue Public Policy and Administration, perhaps a Master’s of Education at UMHB, or perhaps I would go straight into teaching after graduation. For the first time in a long time, I was unsure of what I was going to do in life.

Then, a week ago today, I visited Baylor University once more to gain more knowledge about the graduate program in Political Science. As my meeting with one of the graduate professors went on, I thought that this program would fit me perfectly. Then, he mentioned the GRE scores. I would have to obtain super-high scores to even be considered for the program. Leaving that meeting had me thinking, perhaps God doesn’t want this for me. I began to think that perhaps I should visit other graduate schools.

While I was on the Baylor campus, I thought I would meet up with my friend Jake Raabe, who recently graduated from UMHB and is studying at Truett Seminary on the Baylor campus. So, I went to the office where he works and we conversed on a wide variety of things going on in our lives. I mentioned that I was unsure about my future. “There’s always seminary,” Jake assured me. I smiled and in the back of my mind, I thought “Yah sure. Seminary. That’s a good one.” For my entire life, I assumed that one needed an undergraduate degree in Christian Studies in order to attend seminary. He told me that that was of course not the case. Plenty of people go into seminary with other backgrounds, and they learn how they can use their backgrounds in ministry. So I thought, “Why not? Tell me more.” He gave me a book with Truett’s program information, and I took that book and started to leave. Then, wanting to know even more, I went back and asked if anyone would be willing to tell me all about the program. So, I was able to learn a lot about the program that day. I thought, “Wow! This could be an option.”

As I left Baylor to return to UMHB, I prayed and prayed and prayed. I prayed that God would show me what He wanted me to do. I prayed that He would remove all of the desires that I originally had and replaced them with the desires He had for me.

After continued prayer and just really thinking about my options, I ultimately came to the conclusion that I have been called, in some way, to pursue ministry, and to use the knowledge I have obtained thus far in that pursuit of ministry. After my official visit to Truett today, which included getting to sit in a Scriptures class, learning more about Truett, and having lunch with another seminary professor, it has been confirmed to me that my desire is to now apply to attend Truett Seminary for next Fall.

And so, that is where I am at in my journey. As of Wednesday morning of last week, my plans were completely different. Now God has shown me (an example of His continued, never-ending faithfulness) that ministry is what His desire is for me. And that is what I ultimately want. Not my own desires, but His. My ultimate want is His want. My ultimate desire is His desire!

While I am not completely sure what ministry will look like for me (possibly eventually college or youth ministry while working in the public school system), I know that whatever I end up doing, God will be right there every step of the way. God has guided my family and me through so many obstacles, difficulties, sickness, among other things, yet He has always remained faithful. And as a public school teacher, I would still get to show my passion for History and Political Science through the art of teaching students! Plus, the more and more I have thought about it, this would be the most fulfilling option for me. I could pursue a path teaching students while also mentoring others and helping them grow spiritually.

As I was arriving back at UMHB today, God reassured me of His faithfulness. K-Love’s encouraging word for the day came from Psalm 100:5 (NIV), which says, “For the Lord is good and his love endures forever; his faithfulness continues through all generations.” I am constantly amazed by the Lord’s goodness, by His love, and by His faithfulness. It never changes. It never ceases. He is constantly pursuing us, and will continue pursuing each generation after us. We truly do serve a wonderful and magnificent Heavenly Father!

I would ask that whoever reads this, that you would pray for me. Pray for discernment for me, that I would fully pursue God’s best desires for me. I have never been so excited about my future than I am now. God’s not finished with me yet, and He has so much in store for me.

So, if you ever find yourselves unsure of what your future entails, just turn to Jesus. Ask Him what He has planned for you, because when He shows you those plans, your future can look so much sweeter than anything you could have possibly imagined on your own.

To UMHB, thank you for everything. These past several years have been the greatest of my life. I can never thank this wonderful university enough for all of the love, knowledge, and support that the faculty, staff, and fellow students have shown me.

So soon into the future, I will go, with faithfulness and devotion, to you my Purple, White, and Gold…

New International Version. Bible Gateway. Web. 28 Sept. 2016.

Help Me Find It by Sidewalk Prophets

Thy Will by Hillary Scott and the Scott Family

Then sings my soul!

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About one week has passed since Dad and I returned home from the Grand Canyon. After an entire week of reflection, I am still amazed, still in awe by God’s beautiful creation, and am eternally grateful that God allowed Dad and me to take this journey together. Not only was the Grand Canyon spectacular and absolutely amazing itself, words and pictures alone cannot fully grasp the grandeur of it all, but probably the most breathtaking aspect of it was that God has brought Dad and me through so much and has allowed us to witness His creation together.

As we drove to the Grand Canyon National Park for the first time two weeks ago today, excitement increased as we got closer and closer to the Park entrance. Every 5-10 minutes, the inner-kid in my Dad was revealed as he asked me to look at our GPS and tell him how much longer until we reached the Canyon. 50 minutes, 45 minutes, 40 minutes, and so forth. Both of us were brimming with excitement.

When we finally reached the entrance, we became more and more anxious upon seeing parking lot after parking lot full to capacity. We even saw part of the canyon off in a distance as we were trying to find a parking place. Once we did, we got lost trying to find a trail leading us to the rim of the Canyon. Then finally, we made it. We were there. After so many trials in our lives, God finally brought us to one of His most beautiful masterpieces. Needless to say, I was in complete awe.

It has certainly been a long, rocky road that Dad and I have traversed to reach this point to where we could enjoy the amazing vastness of the Canyon. It doesn’t seem all that long ago when I sat in a small cubicle at Scott & White as I watched poison drip ever so slowly into my Dad’s tired body as he battled his second round with colon cancer. It wasn’t that long ago that I sat terrified as heroic nurses, to whom I will forever be grateful, responded to a violent reaction Dad had with his chemo treatment.

Going back even further, I remembered my own struggles with Crohn’s Disease. I still remember my sudden hospitalization and surgery in 2012, just one week before I was set to give the invocation at my high school graduation. I remember being in so much pain, yet Dad was there, waiting on me hand and foot as he constantly encouraged me while I feared missing my own high school graduation. Although I missed my baccalaureate service, Senior Awards, and Senior Trip, by the grace of an amazing Heavenly Father, I got out just one day before graduation practice. I still got to give the opening prayer.

While my battle with Crohn’s Disease continues to this very day, my faith has grown stronger as I have been encouraged by my family, my hometown, and by all the new friends I have made at UMHB. My faith grew even more, by leaps and bounds, as did my relationship with Dad, when he was diagnosed with cancer right before my sophomore year of college.

So many emotions filled my heart with agony and pain. There were nights when I cried myself to sleep. Somehow I wanted to be able to take Dad’s pain away. I wanted for at least one day to endure Dad’s pain so he wouldn’t have to. Yet I know like any father would, my Dad wouldn’t let me, and even though he was battling cancer and chemo treatments, he still had a smile, he still had those corny and sometimes morbid jokes, just to let me know that everything would work out according to God’s plan and that God was using my Dad for His glory in ways that only God could understand.

And so my faith in the Lord grew. Challenge after challenge, my Dad has never given up, even when he had plenty of reasons to do so. The Lord gave him strength, and Dad’s faith in God’s sovereignty in turn gave me the encouragement and strength I needed to face my own challenges. Christmas Eve 2013, Dad beat cancer. The following Spring Break, he finished chemo. In May 2014, he finally walked to receive his degree at UMHB. In the Fall of that year, he beat another painful illness. A year later, he battled cancer once again, only to be declared cancer-free in late-March of this year. And after multiple exams, he has finally met the necessary requirements to be a full-time Special Education teacher starting in just one week. It seems like every single time, God has been telling Dad and me that “Hey. Just wait. I’m not finished with you yet.”

Truly, God wasn’t finished with either one of us. Visiting the Grand Canyon became the very rich, yummy icing on the cake that was everything God helped us overcome. It’s like God was saying, “See. I told you so.”

And so, as I sat on the rocks overlooking the Canyon that first day, I wept. I wept tears of joy. I wept because God not only allowed us to overcome so many challenges together, but He also allowed us to do so in order that we might have the opportunity to enjoy what truly is a GRAND Canyon. When I sat there looking at the amazing depth and vastness of God’s creation, I sang to myself, in a quiet voice…

 
O Lord my God, when I in awesome wonder, 
Consider all the worlds Thy Hands have made; 
I see the stars, I hear the rolling thunder, 
Thy power throughout the universe displayed.

(Chorus)
Then sings my soul, My Saviour God, to Thee, 
How great Thou art, How great Thou art.
Then sings my soul, My Saviour God, to Thee, 
How great Thou art, How great Thou art! 

When through the woods, and forest glades I wander, 
And hear the birds sing sweetly in the trees.
When I look down, from lofty mountain grandeur
And see the brook, and feel the gentle breeze.

And when I think, that God, His Son not sparing; 
Sent Him to die, I scarce can take it in; 
That on a Cross, my burdens gladly bearing, 
He bled and died to take away my sin.

When Christ shall come, with shout of acclamation, 
And take me home, what joy shall fill my heart.
Then I shall bow, in humble adoration, 
And then proclaim: “My God, how great Thou art!”

(Chorus)
Then sings my soul, My Saviour God, to Thee, 
How great Thou art, How great Thou art.
Then sings my soul, My Saviour God, to Thee, 
How great Thou art, How great Thou art!

I sat there at the rim, absolutely amazed, and as I looked at the never-ending depths of the Canyon, I couldn’t help but rejoice in how far God has brought us. Easy lives without trials were never promised to us, but if we trust God with our lives, there will be moments like these in which we can enjoy just how marvelous and powerful He is. It’s a reminder to me that He has a purpose for each of our lives.

Words in of itself cannot describe just how awesome the Grand Canyon is. Pictures can never help one grasp the vastness of the Canyon. And that’s part of the beauty of it all. How Great God truly is. When I consider all the worlds Thy hands have made. When I hear the rolling thunder, as there was thunder the second day of our visit. When through the woods and forest glades I wander as I walk along the pine trees alongside the trails leading to the rim of the Canyon. As I hear the birds sing sweet melodies and look down from mountain grandeur. When I feel the breeze and see the mighty Colorado River look so small from the top of the Canyon. When I take in all of this marvelous beauty, how can my soul not sing for joy!?

And as I looked at the wonder that is our Heavenly Father, I was constantly reminded by God that while He created all of the awesomeness that is the Grand Canyon, He sent His Son to die and conquer death for me, because I was His greatest creation. After the first two days, it was hard for me to imagine how much sweeter this vacation would turn out to be. Then on the third day, God was like, “Hey. Look what I can do!” The third morning of our time at the Grand Canyon, Dad and I left our hotel (which was about an hour away from the Park) at about 3:45 AM to see the sun rise over the Canyon, and it was well worth it!

If you ever travel to the Canyon yourself, seeing the sunrise is an absolute necessity. As we waited for the sun to emerge over the Canyon, Dad and I could hear people speaking in German, French, and Chinese, among other languages. Throughout our trip, we also heard Spanish, Dutch, Hindi, Middle Eastern languages, and so many others. The diversity of the thousands of people at the Canyon was also a great reminder of how awesome God is. It was a reminder that the magnificence of God’s creation can bring together people from across the world to enjoy His masterpieces. That too, represented the beauty of God.

There are so many other experiences I hope to share with others about our journey together. I love that the Grand Canyon is now a part of Dad’s and my testimony. The Grand Canyon is now part of my life’s story. It’s now a part of Dad’s life story.

This reminds me of one of my favorite verses in the Bible. 1 Thessalonians 2:8 (NIV) says, “Because we loved you so much, we were delighted to share with you not only the gospel of God but our lives as well.”

When we share our life’s story, we share both the Gospel of Christ as well as how He has made an impact in our lives. The Grand Canyon is a part of both Dad’s and my life’s story. And it truly is Grand!

♪♪Then sings my soul, My Saviour God to thee, How great Thou art, HOW GREAT THOU ART!!!♪♪

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Boberg, Carl. “How Great Thou Art.” Trans. Stuart K. Hine. Hollywood, CA. Manna Music, Inc. 1955.

New International Version. Bible Gateway. Web. 1 Aug. 2016.

How Great Thou Art by the Digital Age

Great Is Thy Faithfulness/How Big Is God/How Great Thou Art (Medley) by Anthony Burger

Mountains and Valleys

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Well it’s been more than 2 months since my last blog post (more than 4 months since my last one that wasn’t a poem), and since starting my blog in February of last year, that is the longest I have gone without posting anything. So, to start, hello again. It’s good to be back.

So much has happened since my last post, and if I could sum up my life since then, using just three words, those words would be “Mountains and Valleys.” Those words, which just happened to be the theme of this year’s UMHB Spring Revival, encompasses the ups and downs I have experienced the past several months, and if God has shown me anything, it is that His grace is sufficient, and that no matter if we are on tallest of mountains, or in the lowest of valleys, He is always there with us.

Probably the biggest “mountaintop” moment for me was March 31st. For about a week prior to this day, my Dad, my family, and I were anxiously awaiting the results of Dad’s PET scans to see if any cancer remained in his body. Then, in the early afternoon of the 31st, I visited with one of my classmates for more than an hour after leaving my International Relations class. As I left our conversation at the steps of Luther Memorial, I noticed the light on my phone going off, signaling to me that someone had sent me a Facebook message. When I saw Dad’s profile picture, I somehow knew exactly what it was about. As I opened it, my heart jumped for joy when I read these words… “PET scans showed absolutely nothing! :P”

Wanting to hear his voice tell me the good news, I gave him a call, and he assured me that there was absolutely no cancer left. Zero. Zilch. Nada. Fighting back tears, I couldn’t wait to tell the world the wonderful news. First I went to Mabee, so that I would have WiFi to share the news on Facebook. I ran into my awesome friend Jesse. I had the privilege of being his Cru-Leader the past year. With his contagious smile, he celebrated the news with me. After I left the building, I knew exactly who I wanted to tell next, Mrs. Cindy Entzminger, my fiercest prayer warrior on campus. As I walked into the Campus Store where she worked, she looked up and said, “You have big news don’t you!?” I guess she could tell by my expression. “Yes,” I said, “My Dad is cancer-free!” She gave me the biggest hug and gleefully proclaimed, “Oh! I’m so excited! Look,” holding out her arms, “I got goosebumps on goosebumps.” I ran into multiple more friends before I reached my apartment, and I couldn’t contain the exciting news, “Dad is cancer-FREE!”

Finally, I got to my room in my apartment, started playing some songs on YouTube, and wept! Tears of joy streamed down my face. I was so amazed by the goodness of my Heavenly Father. Shortly after Easter, God gave me the greatest gift ever (aside from giving His only Son to us), and that was the gift of a SuperDad who can now wear the label of “Two-time cancer SURVIVOR!” I still remember one song in particular as I spent that afternoon weeping tears of never-ending joy, and that was “Worthy the Lamb” by the Gaither Vocal Band (see video below)…

Hear the cries of the shackled from the onset of time,
For the chains of defeat there’s no key.
See the tears of the broken, the cries of the slaves:
Is there no one worthy to set us free?

Then the crying is stilled as the chorus rings out,
The shackled released from their chains.
And thousands of voices are swelling the song:
Worthy the Lamb that was slain.

Worthy, worthy,
Worthy the Lamb that was slain (x2)

Then all the archangels, the saints of all time,
Holding their crowns in their hands,
Fall down before Him joining the song:
Worthy, worthy the Lamb!

Worthy, worthy,
Worthy the Lamb that was slain (x2)

Praise Him, praise Him,
Praise the Lamb that was slain (x2)

As I listened to this song, I knelt on the floor, weeping, thanking God, singing, “Praise Him, Praise Him, Praise the Lamb that was slain! Praise Him, Praise Him, Praise the Lamb that was slain!” As I listened to that song and others, I couldn’t help but cry out, “Lord Jesus, Thank You. Lord Jesus, Thank You.” Emotions overwhelm me even now as I type these words, and I can’t help but say, “Lord Jesus, Thank You!”

A week later, during Revival, with the theme, “Mountains and Valleys,” I felt as if I were at the top of that mountain. I had every reason to celebrate. Life was going great for my family and for me. Sure, I still got emotional, but those were mostly tears of joy. How awesome it was crammed in a large tent with fellow believers as we proclaimed that Christ is King. We ended the three days with the Digital Age singing “All the Poor and Powerless.” And my oh my did we shout and sing at the top of our lungs, leaping, with our hands held high, “Shout it! Go on and scream it from the mountains. Go on and tell it to the masses. That He is God!” (All Sons & Daughters)

Those few weeks I felt like I was on top of that mountain. Yet as my life unfolded, I went back down into the valley. The last few months for me was beyond stressful. With papers, exams, projects, and so much more, there were nights where I only got a few hours of sleep. And in that time, I became depressed. Depression is something that I have always struggled with. Even in its mildest form, depression is something that no one wants to deal with. I couldn’t understand why I had feelings of loneliness and brokenness, yet those feelings were there all the same. I’ve asked God before to give me the strength to not feel the way that I do, and it’s then that I realize that God is already making me strong in Him. Through every single weakness, God is able to move me to be strong in HIM.”

It is then I am reminded of 2 Corinthians 12:9-10 (NIV)…

But he said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ’s power may rest on me. That is why, for Christ’s sake, I delight in weaknesses, in insults, in hardships, in persecutions, in difficulties. For when I am weak, then I am strong.

For when I am weak, when I feel broken, when I am in my lowest valley, then I am strong. THEN I AM STRONG!

I have had plenty more “mountaintop” moments since my last blog post. I got to go to Spring Formal with my awesome friends, Michael and Katie, and my wonderful sister, Paige. I made all A’s, maintained my career 4.0 GPA, had lunch with my best friend Cody, whom I hadn’t seen in almost a year, and I got to enjoy a visit from my Aunt Karen and Uncle Michael and their kids from Indiana. I also got to enjoy hanging out with all the freshmen Alexa, Katie, and I had been mentoring the past year. A few weeks ago, my best friend, Michael, led worship for the youth group at my church, FBC Florence, and I shared my testimony. It brought a smile to my face to see my friend lead worship as so many young middle and high school students raised their hands praising our Heavenly Father. They all cheered and got excited when we began to sing “Oceans: Where Feet May Fail” by Hillsong United.

These past several months, I have been in the valley, but I’ve also been on that mountain. And no matter where I am, there God is with His arms wrapped around me. He is reminding me that wherever I go, He is there!

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Picture 1: A picture with my Superman who has beat cancer twice!

Picture 2: A picture with the Digital Age after Spring Revival 2016

Picture 3: A picture with Kneeland Brown, this year’s speaker at Revival

Picture 4: A picture with Michael, Paige, and Katie before Spring Formal

Picture 5: A picture with my best friend Cody (best friends since the 1st grade!)

Picture 6: Selfies with Katie, Alexa, and our awesome freshman group

Picture 7: A picture with Christopher, Shayla, and Michael after a night of worship at FBC Florence

All Sons & Daughters. All The Poor And Powerless. By David Leonard and Leslie Jordan, 2011. allsonsanddaughters.com. Web. 30 May 2016.

Gaither Vocal Band. Worthy The Lamb. By Bill and Gloria Gaither, 1974. LyricWikia. Web. 30 May 2016.

New International Version. Bible Gateway. Web. 30 May. 2016.

Worthy The Lamb by The Gaither Vocal Band

All The Poor And Powerless by The Digital Age

I’m A Child of the KING!

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Earlier this month, for the first time publicly, I posted one of my poems on this blog. It was inspired by something that I have tried to live by for the past year and a half or so, and that is to remember that I am redeemed by a magnificently wonderful God who loves me beyond all comprehension. I have learned that no matter what life throws at us, we can choose to either be defined by the world and by our shortcomings, or we can be defined through Christ Jesus who gave His life because of His great love for us. Personally, I want to choose to be defined through Christ.

This past month, there have been times where I would occasionally take this for granted or I would forget it completely. The truth is that we all struggle and we all face challenges, and that has certainly been true in my life. So far, although it is just the third week of the semester, I am already stressed with so many obligations and other situations in life. Coupled with various twists and turns that have made my days even crazier, it’s sometimes easy for me to take for granted the fact that God has a plan for me and that through Him, I am redeemed.

Since writing my poem at the start of the New Year, my mind has played one song in particular, over and over and over again. It’s an old gospel hymn that serves as a great reminder that I am most certainly loved and redeemed by the one who created me. As I listen to and read the lyrics of, “A Child of the King,” I am reminded that instead of defining myself through my weaknesses, I should constantly define myself as a child of the Most High God.

Once I was clothed in the rags of my sin,
Wretched and poor, lost and lonely within,
But with wondrous compassion the King of all kings,
In pity and love, took me under His wing.

Chorus
Oh, yes, oh, yes, I’m a child of the King
His royal blood now flows in my veins.
And I who was wretched and poor, now can sing,
“Praise God, Praise God, I’m a child of the King.”

Now I’m a child with a heavenly home.
My Holy Father has made me His own.
And I’m cleansed by His blood, And I’m clothed in His love,
And someday I’ll sing with the angels above.

When I listen to this song, I can’t help but realize that my soul was once dead. Without Christ, I am wretched, I am lost, and I am lonely. Without Christ, I am dead.

This past Sunday, at FBC Belton’s College House, we discussed the fact that without Christ we are dead, we have no life. We looked at three examples of people who had died at the time of Jesus. In one situation, Jesus raised a little girl from death who had only been dead for a few minutes. Another was a man who died the day before, and Jesus stopped the funeral and brought him back to life. The third was Lazarus, who had been dead for several days. In each situation, although they were at different stages of decomposition, they were still dead. You can’t be deader than someone else. If you’re dead, you’re dead. And yet, in every single one of those situations, Christ raised them back from death into new life.

This reminds me that no matter how far and how long I stray from God, no matter how long I doubt His plans for me, He can always bring me back to Him. It reminds me that I was once completely dead, and yet He pulled me out of darkness into light.

To me, this causes for celebration. Because He brought me out of the “dominion of darkness,” why should I define myself by anything other than Christ? If I am alive in Him, why should I define myself as wretched, lost, or lonely? Instead I should define myself as a child of the King.

What a wonderful promise that when we choose to follow Christ, we are children of the King of Kings. Far more powerful than any earthly king, God doesn’t have to pay us any attention, and yet He does. He loves us more than we can ever understand. So rather than defining myself as worthless and lost, I am going to proclaim that I am a child of the King. Because the fact is that, yes, I was poor, lost, and completely dead, but with wondrous compassion, Christ pulled me out of darkness, and into life. The blood that He shed on the cross now flows through my veins.

Therefore I am going to keep singing this song at the top of my lungs. I am going to show the world that I am a child of the Almighty, Everlasting King of Kings and Lord of Lords. I am no longer going to define myself as weak, useless, and abandoned. Because I am pursued daily by my Heavenly Father, Abba, my King. I am His and He is mine.

Romans 8:14-16 states, “14 For those who are led by the Spirit of God are the children of God. 15 The Spirit you received does not make you slaves, so that you live in fear again; rather, the Spirit you received brought about your adoption to sonship. And by him we cry, ‘Abba, Father.’ 16 The Spirit himself testifies with our spirit that we are God’s children” (NIV).

How amazing is it that we are called God’s children!? Too often, I don’t take the time to thank Him for loving me so much. It’s a love that I cannot comprehend. No matter how many times I mess up, no matter how many times I fail Him, I know that I can turn to my Father who loves me so much. Because no matter what, I am His child. So that’s how I will choose to define myself, not by my weaknesses and shortcomings, but as His child!

Praise God! Praise God! I’m a child of the KING!

 

New International Version. Bible Gateway. Web. 26 Jan. 2016.

Walker, Cindy, 1961, renewal 1989. “A Child of the King.” hymnal.calvarybaptistsv.org. Web. 26 Jan. 2016.

 

Child of the King by Mike Allen, Tim Duncan, and Brock Speer

Good Good Father by Chris Tomlin

A Poem on Redemption

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I am broken

I am afraid

I am tired

I am lonely

I am discouraged

These are the thoughts echoing in my mind

These are the thoughts that Satan tries to tear me down with

These are the thoughts that keep me up at night

These are the thoughts that leave me empty

These are the thoughts that bring tears to my eyes

And then I think of how others define me

You are insignificant

You are unable

You are defeated

You are alone

You are worthless

Why do I care what others think of me

Why do I place so much value in the opinions others have of me

Why do I let others define who I am

When I do, I feel lost

I feel ashamed

I feel abandoned

I feel unworthy

I feel dirty

I feel destroyed

But then God calls me by name

He asks me why I have these thoughts

He asks me why I allow others to define me

He asks me why I feel the way I do

Then He looks at me and says, “Let me define you”

Then He tells me

You are valuable

You are capable

You are a conqueror

You are pursued

You are precious in my sight

When He called me out, He reminded me of all the things He’s done

He tells me

I created the universe

The stars that dot the sky, the sun that shines, the moon that glows

I made that

The rolling hills painted with bluebonnets and daffodils, the trees that stand tall

That was part of my design

The mockingbirds, canaries, and blue jays chirping sweet melodies

I taught them how to sing

All of the animals on the land, all the creatures in the sea

I gave them life

All these things are things I created

And do you know what

You are my greatest creation

When He spoke this to me, I no longer felt lost

I realized I had a purpose

I felt rescued

I felt worthy

I felt clean

I felt brand new

I felt redeemed

He began to say, “trust me”

He began to show me how much He loves me

He reminded me of his unconditional, unwavering love

He reminded me that His son died for me

Oh such agony

The whips and the lashes that ripped His flesh

The crown of thorns that pierced His head

The blood that poured out of His body

The long arduous climb up Golgotha

The nails that were driven through His hands and feet

They mocked Him

They spat on Him

They laughed at Him

Yet He asked God to forgive them

He took on the sin of the world

He died that painful death

He arose three days later

He bears the scars

He did all of this because He loves me so much

No greater love exists

He did all of this because He loves me

This broken, unworthy, sinful, messed up human being

He did this for me

I am at a loss for words

It’s indescribable the love He has for us

The love He has for me

No longer am I broken

No longer am I afraid

No longer am I tired

No longer am I lonely

No longer am I discouraged

God has called me out

He tells me, “Stop letting the world define you”

Define yourself through Me

So with every breath I breathe, I now proclaim

I am redeemed

I am loved by God

I am chosen by God

I am made new by God

I am pursued by God

I am fearfully and wonderfully made by God

I am a conqueror through God

I am strong through God

I am bold

I am courageous

I am protected by Him

Through Him, I am Redeemed

There is nothing I can’t do when God is on my side

How awesome is it to know that I can define myself through Him

So whenever, I feel the least bit discouraged

I will proclaim, I am redeemed

I am redeemed

PRAISE GOD, I AM REDEEMED!

Writing thank you notes to God…

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ThankYouNotesToGod

Well, it’s been over a month since my last blog post, and since then my mind has often wandered in various directions as if I were on a roller coaster of stress and emotions. With a smile on my face, I can say that much of that stress has dissipated now that I am a week and a half into Christmas break.

Throughout this past semester, I have been consumed with stress and emotions as I have tried to balance academics, extra-curriculars, ministries, personal and family life, and anything else one might add to that list. There have been times when I have wondered, “Okay God, what next? What am I supposed to do now?” When I look to the horizon ahead of me, I see a future, and that future is with God. He guides my every step, and He will always go before me. But, I wouldn’t be honest if I told you that there weren’t times when all the stress and various circumstances have caused at least some level of doubt in my mind as to what that future entails. And yet, even when our mind wanders, even when we face that scary precipice, that daunting chasm of doubt between us and the future that awaits, even then, God reminds us that He is always with us. He reminds us that He is a bridge of hope and assurance for us to cross all of those fears and doubts, as we travel down the road He has paved for us. And He reminds us to be thankful for the little things along the way.

Sometimes I need to be reminded to stop worrying about everything and to just thank God for the little things. Sure, it’s easy to thank Him for the big things, and we most certainly should thank Him for the big things, such as miracles, improved health, fantastic grades on finals, etc. After all, I am beyond thankful that my grandfather’s health is improving after his heart surgery, that my Dad’s cancer is shrinking, that I managed to pull of another all A’s semester, that I get to spend the holidays with such an inspiring family, and the list goes on. Major things like these are ones we should be thankful for. But, do we stop and thank Him enough for the little things?

About a month ago, the Monday before Thanksgiving, UMHB’s International Ministry held their annual Thanksgiving meal for the community where international students, American students, and others can come, eat, fellowship, and give thanks with one another. I truly enjoy it every year as I get to meet some really awesome foreign exchange students and learn a little about their cultures.

Just a few hours before the meal, I realized that I had not yet bought anything for the gathering. Less than an hour before the event, I made a quick trip to Wal-Mart to purchase a couple of pies for the feast. On my way to FBC Belton for the gathering, I paused and thought, “Thank you Lord for Wal-Mart being just a few minutes away. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you.” After that thought, I reflected more on Thanksgiving, and as I pictured the importance of the holiday, I thought, “I don’t thank Him enough for the little things like this.” As Christmas soon approaches, I am reminded once again to be thankful. Not only am I thankful for the greatest gift ever given, the gift of Christ, but I am also thankful for the little things.

One thing I enjoy doing is watching clips of my favorite late-night comedians on YouTube. Anyone who watches much of Jimmy Fallon knows that he writes Thank You Notes every week where he thanks random things, giving funny explanations of why he’s so thankful they exist. So that gave me an idea. Relating his Thank You Notes to a faith-based perspective, I decided to write (in this case, type) thank you notes to God (not all of them necessarily in a humorous way), thanking Him for some of the smallest things that have helped me grow in my relationship with Him and with others.

Here are some of the ideas I had as I made the short drive from Wal-Mart to FBC that evening, and as I thanked Him for various things, I tried to start with the phrase, “Lord Jesus,” because of the joy I have in proclaiming that Jesus is Lord of all…

Lord Jesus, thank you for the Belton Wal-Mart. It is especially convenient when you’re in a hurry and it’s only minutes away from campus.

As I approached a green light… Lord Jesus, thank you for the green lights as they help me get to where I am going even faster.

Then I approached a red light… Lord Jesus, thank you for the red lights as they cause me to stop, not be in a hurry, and give me a second to focus on you and be thankful.

Lord Jesus, thank you for the beautiful sky. What a marvelous sight to look at as I think of how awesome and mighty you are.

When I saw a random tree… Lord Jesus, thank you for that tree. I’m not sure why I’m thanking you for that tree, but it’s an awesome tree. And you know what, you’re awesome for making that awesome tree.

Lord Jesus, thank you for that parking lot over there. I’ve had some good conversations and have gotten to know people in that parking lot.

At the Thanksgiving meal, I walked behind my friend Alexia, who was standing next to my friend Michael. I put my hands over her eyes, seeing if she could guess who I was. “Hmmmm,” said Alexia, feeling my hands, “They’re certainly female hands.” “I have female hands?,” I asked in a deep voice. That caused for an awkward moment.

Lord Jesus, thank you for awkward moments with friends. These moments create laughter, help form stronger friendships, and give us stories to tell in the future.

At the meal, as I sat with Michael and a handful of Indian students, I got to learn about their likes, their dislikes, their culture, and what they like about America and UMHB.

Lord Jesus, thank you for this Thanksgiving meal. It allows me to form new friendships with fascinating people from different cultures. And we get to laugh and tell stories. It’s such a blessing to give thanks with new people. And I got to learn more about their holidays and traditions.

Then we started talking about sports, specifically American football and cricket. I mentioned that I’m a fan of Baylor and Texas. “Oh didn’t Baylor just beat Oklahoma State? What a good game. Too bad they lost to Oklahoma. Texas isn’t doing as well.” (This was before Texas beat Baylor!) I wish I knew as much about cricket, their favorite sport, as they knew about American football.

Lord Jesus, thank you for conversations about sports. Especially when it’s with international students. These conversations help form friendships around topics I love (that being sports!) and I get to learn about their favorite pastime, cricket.

After that group of Indian students left, Michael and I, along with our friend Dylan, thought it would be fun to stare at different people, all at once, shifting to different people several times, to make people feel awkwardly uncomfortable.

Lord Jesus, thank you for goofy humor. What a fun way to bond and have good laughs with close friends. Plus, it makes other people laugh too.

StaringAtPeople

Michael, Dylan, and me having fun staring at people…

Since the meal, I have thought of other things to be thankful for, between Thanksgiving and now, shortly before Christmas.

Lord Jesus, thank you for the show Friends. It gives something for Dad and me to bond together and have laughs. It also gives us good conversations as we remember our favorite episodes.

Lord Jesus, thank you for friends that have also seen Friends. It gives me something to talk about and have good laughs with friends (especially Michael, who’s also seen just about every episode and can quote any part of them).

Lord Jesus, thank you for White Elephant Gift Exchange Parties. It’s so much fun giving and receiving sometimes pointless gifts. It’s fun because I get to have good laughs and spend time with wonderful friends.

WhiteElephantGiftExchange

You can’t see it, but I got a flashy ornament and anti-wrinkle cream. Lol. Not sure why I’m the only one smiling.

Lord Jesus, thank you for Star Trek (the movies and the TV shows). Yet another thing for Dad and I to enjoy together.

Lord Jesus, thank you for Candy Crush. It allows me to watch my grandfather have tons of fun playing it. He gets excited when he gets to show me the newest challenge the game throws at him. (He’s probably on level 1300 or something or higher)

Lord Jesus, thank you for Facebook messaging. It allows me to encourage friends and allows friends to encourage me.

The first Saturday of December, my family and I watched the Texas-Baylor football game. Shayla and I were cheering for Baylor while the rest of the family was cheering for Texas.

SicEmHookEm

Shayla and me for the Bears, Jeremiah for the Horns. Horns won!

Lord Jesus, thank you for family football rivalries. They allow us to have fun, in a competitive spirit kind of way. I even thank you when the team I’m rooting for loses. Because being teased afterwards is also fun.

Lord Jesus, thank you for that feeling college students have after finishing the last final of the semester. One word: FREEDOM!

Lord Jesus, thank you for Star Wars: The Force Awakens. I got to see it with Dad and Jeremiah in 3D, and it was such a wonderful experience. The months long excitement and Star Wars marathon before was half the fun.

StarWarsImaxJeremiahMe

Jeremiah and me shortly before the new Star Wars movie…

Lord Jesus, thank you for middle and high school girls’ basketball games. It brings me so much joy to watch Shayla and Mikayla play the sport they love so much.

ShaylaLadyBuffsBBall

Shayla after her high school Lady Buffs basketball game…

MikaylaLadyBuffsBBall

Mikayla after her middle school Lady Buffs basketball game…

Lord Jesus, thank you for the fun Shayla and I have teasing each other. I love teasing my Horned Frog, my Red Raider. (She’s more of a Baylor Bear fan than I am, so she doesn’t like being called that 🙂 )

Lord Jesus, thank you for the long drives I have by myself. I love spending time talking to you or listening to Christian music.

Lord Jesus, thank you for College Football Bowl season. Did I mention how much I love football!?

These are just a handful of to the many things that I am thankful for. While it may sometimes be easy to be thankful for the big things, we sometimes overlook the small things. I constantly need to be reminded, myself, to stop and thank God for these precious little things.

Scripture is filled with verses about being thankful…

Rejoice always, pray continually, give thanks in all circumstances; for this is God’s will for you in Christ Jesus. – 1 Thessalonians 5:16-18 (NIV)

Give thanks to the Lord and proclaim his greatness. Let the whole world know what he has done. – 1 Chronicles 16:8 (NLT)

Sometimes I need to be reminded to be thankful for not just the big things, but also the small things. Life is not always going to be a smooth journey, but no matter what, praise Him. Sing to Him. Give thanks to Him. Thank Him for the big things! And thank Him for the little things. In everything, give Him thanks!

Lord Jesus, thank you. Thank you for all your countless and many blessings. Even if I had absolutely nothing, I would still be forever thankful that I will always have you Lord, and that is what I am most thankful for.

With every breath I have, Lord Jesus, I say THANK YOU!

 

New International Version. Bible Gateway. Web. 23 Dec. 2015.

New Living Translation. Bible Gateway. Web. 23 Dec. 2015.

 

Thank You by the Katinas

Thank You Lord for Your Blessings by Jeff & Sheri Easter, Charlotte Ritchie, and Vestal Goodman

The news I DID want to hear: His cancer is shrinking!

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So many emotions these past couple of weeks, where could I possibly begin? Earlier in August, I blogged with the title, “The news I never wanted to hear: His cancer is back…” This time I will start with the wonderful news my family received last week… Dad’s cancer is shrinking! Tears, smiles, peace, joy, jubilation were among the many words to describe what I was feeling when my Dad gave me this simple message: “PET scans show improvement. God is Good!” Immediately, I called him to ask him exactly what this meant. His doctors told him that the cancer was shrinking!

It seems that for these past few years, my family has been on a roller coaster of emotions with so many things happening. Wonderful news, horrible news; both have come off and on as we strive to keep focused on God and the plan He has for the each of us. As Believers in Christ know, life was never promised to be easy. Sometimes, we will receive news that gives us so much joy, and sometimes news will give us sorrow. I don’t always understand why things happen, but I trust that God is in complete control and that He is and always will be sovereign over everything.

So what do we do when the news we receive is not at all what we wanted to hear? What do we do when the news brings sadness, pain, and frustration? I am not going to act like I have the answers, because I don’t. What I can say is this, “The Lord goes before us and He will never leave us. Trust that He is in control. Trust that He is sovereign.”

In my life, I have faced many trials and disappointments. It seems that every time I do, my family will remind me that God has great and amazing things in store for me. Even when I am not home with my family, my Dad, my Nana, and my BigDaddy will encourage me over the phone and remind me of God’s goodness.

My family has been my ultimate source of inspiration throughout my young life. My Dad has faced more than I could ever imagine, yet he still, even with intensive chemotherapy treatments, finds ways to make me laugh, finds ways to tease me and pull practical jokes, and finds ways to lift me up and reassure me that God is sovereign. When my BigDaddy had heart surgery, and even more responsibilities were placed on Nana’s shoulders, they still never seemed to lose their faith that God would make a way, and that God would provide the answers we needed. The kids too have faced so many challenges, yet they have chosen to trust God with all their hearts.

And what should we do if we receive wonderful news? Praise Him! But also praise Him when the news is not so great. Praise Him in the calm. Praise Him in the storm. For the God that is with us when times are great is the very same God that is with us when times are tough.

In case you don’t know by now, I love adding songs that speak to me in my blogs. Over these past few years I have received good news such as Dad beating cancer the first time, getting his degree, myself getting another “A” on my transcript, Dad’s cancer shrinking, BigDaddy’s heart surgery going well, Shayla and Isaac professing their faith through baptism, the list goes on. But I have also received news I didn’t want: when Dad first got cancer, when it returned, when I faced disappointment or didn’t get that ministry position I wanted, that list could continue as well.

In all of these situations, I have occasionally been reminded by one of my favorite Gaither songs, “God On The Mountain.” There have been plenty of times when I would look it up on YouTube and listen to these words:

Life is easy, when you’re up on the mountain
And you’ve got peace of mind, like you’ve never known
But things change, when you’re down in the valley
Don’t lose faith, for your never alone

For the God on the mountain, is still God in the valley
When things go wrong, he’ll make them right
And the God of the good times, is still God in the bad times
The God of the day, is still God in the night

We talk of faith way up on the mountain
But talk comes easy, when life’s at its best
Now it’s down in the valleys, trials and temptations
That’s where your faith is really put to the test

For the God on the mountain, is still God in the valley,
When things go wrong, he’ll make them right
And the God of the good times, is still God in the bad times
The God of the day, is still God in the night
The God of the day, is still God in the night

How wonderful is it to know that that same God that gives us happiness and joy in the good times is also the same God that grants us peace in the bad times and reassures us that His presence never leaves us? May my heart never cease to praise Him! Sometimes life is easy, and in those moments, when I am up on that mountain, I will praise Him. When I am down in the valley of sorrow and despair, I will praise Him. When the news is good, I will praise Him. When the news is not at all what I wanted to hear, I will praise Him for I am never alone!

Psalm 34 (NIV) proclaims this:

1 I will extol the Lord at all times;
    his praise will always be on my lips.
2 I will glory in the Lord;
    let the afflicted hear and rejoice.
3 Glorify the Lord with me;
    let us exalt his name together.

Every chance that I get, I will strive to praise His name! No matter what comes my way, good or bad, God is worthy of my praise! Because that same God that I sing joyous praise to when life does go my way is the very same God that I will call out and praise when life doesn’t go my way.

I am beyond thankful that God gave me this news that brought a smile to my face: Dad’s cancer is shrinking! I thanked God and praised His name for this wonderful news. I also praised Him before when Dad’s cancer returned the second time and praised Him in other situations that have left me sad or frustrated. In every circumstance, one thing remains the same, God’s love never fails! He is the same today and tomorrow as He was yesterday.

So praise God in every situation! For the God of the day IS STILL God in the night!

 

Lynda Randle. God On The Mountain. By Tracy Dartt, 1975. MetroLyrics. Web. 16 Nov. 2015.

New International Version. Bible Gateway. Web. 16 Nov. 2015.

 

God On the Mountain by Lynda Randle

How Can I Keep From Singing by Chris Tomlin

 

 

 

Awaiting the News

by

As I sit here typing my thoughts into this week’s blog, one question keeps going through my mind, “Does Dad still have cancer?” Last week, he had some scans done to see if there is anything left, and obviously I am hoping and praying that it is all gone. So, as we wait for the news, all I can do is pray, pray with everything in me, that the cancer is gone.

I still remember when he beat cancer the first time. It was Christmas Eve 2013 when I received a call from Dad after he visited his doctor. My heart leaped for joy, tears streamed down my face, as I praised God for the second best Christmas present (second only to the birth of Christ) He could ever give me… a cancer-free Dad. And so that is what I am hoping now. I am waiting for that call, waiting for him to breathe a sigh of relief as he tells me that God has once again helped him beat cancer.

And yet, for some reason, I am not as nervous as I was before. I am not as nervous as most people would be. Sometimes, I even forget that we are awaiting this monumental news. And why is that? Why am I not on pins and needles waiting so anxiously to hear the news? Is it wrong for me to not be too nervous? It’s not that I don’t care. If you have read any of my previous blogs or know anything about me, you know that of course I care. So what is it? Why am I not as nervous and scared as most people would be? After all, this is the question of whether my Superman still has cancer. It’s a pretty big deal!

As I wonder why I am not all that nervous and scared, I think it’s because I know that God is in complete control. He is in control of every situation and every circumstance. He knows what we go through and what is still to come. He is always there to lift us up and always simply be there for us. Every which way I turn, I know I can turn to Him, even when the rest of my world is crashing around me.

This is something that my family has shown me throughout my life, especially throughout the past couple of years. They have shown me that God is in control. As my Dad has raised me as a single, hardworking father, getting his degree, beating cancer the first time, and going through it the second time, he would tell you that God is in control. As my BigDaddy has been recovering from heart surgery, he would tell you that God is in control. As sweet 11yr old Isaac has battled Juvenile Dermatomyositis, an autoimmune disorder that causes his immune system to attack his muscles when he gets really sick, he would tell you that God is in control.

So I guess that is why I am not as scared as some would be. I guess that’s why I am not as nervous as some would be. Because I know that my Lord and Savior has everything under control, and that anything that we go through, no matter what happens, God can use our stories, our examples, for His glory.

One song that has been in my mind quite a bit lately is the song “Good Good Father,” and as I think about the lyrics, I find the answer as to why I am not absolutely scared or nervous.

Oh, I’ve heard a thousand stories
Of what they think You’re like
But I’ve heard the tender whisper
Of love in the dead of night
And You tell me that You’re pleased
And that I’m never alone

You’re a good good Father
It’s who You are, it’s who You are, it’s who You are
And I’m loved by You
It’s who I am, it’s who I am, it’s who I am

Oh, and I’ve seen many searching
For answers far and wide
But I know we’re all searching
For answers only You provide
‘Cause You know just what we need
Before we say a word

You’re a good good Father
It’s who You are, it’s who You are, it’s who You are
And I’m loved by You
It’s who I am, it’s who I am, it’s who I am

Cause You are perfect in all of Your ways
You are perfect in all of Your ways
You are perfect in all of Your ways to us

You are perfect in all of Your ways
Oh, You are perfect in all of Your ways
You are perfect in all of Your ways to us

Oh, it’s love so undeniable
I, I can hardly speak
Peace so unexplainable
I, I can hardly think
As You call me deeper still
As You call me deeper still
As You call me deeper still
Into love, love, love

You’re a good good Father
It’s who You are, it’s who You are, it’s who You are
And I’m loved by You
It’s who I am, it’s who I am, it’s who I am

You’re a good good Father
It’s who You are, it’s who You are, it’s who You are
And I’m loved by You
It’s who I am, it’s who I am, it’s who I am
You’re a good good Father

You are perfect in all of Your ways
You are perfect in all of Your ways
You are perfect in all of Your ways

I guess I am not scared and nervous because I am the child of such a good, good father. I know that I am loved and treasured by Him. I know that many times we search for answers, and that only He can provide the answer. His love is truly undeniable, His peace completely unexplainable. He loves me and is perfect in any situation. He is without a doubt a good, good father.

That is why I have so much peace amidst everything that goes on in life, because I have such a good, good father. So why be afraid? The Bible tells me in Deuteronomy 31:8 (NIV), “The Lord himself goes before you and will be with you; he will never leave you nor forsake you. Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged.” Therefore I will have peace and not worry, because He goes before me. He has promised to never leave me and to never forsake me. So, I will glorify His name. I will shout His praises. I will sing of the goodness He has shown in my life. If He holds the whole world in His hand, then shouldn’t I trust Him in every circumstance life throws at my family and me? In all that I do, and in everything I go through, I will give Him the glory.

So as I await this news, I will be at peace and remember that I serve a Good Good Father!

Chris Tomlin. Good Good Father. By Housefires, 2015. K-Love. Web. 9 Nov. 2015.

New International Version. Bible Gateway. Web. 9 Nov. 2015.

Good Good Father by Casting Crowns

Glory by Phil Wickham