Dear Dad,
It’s been well over a year since I posted to this site, and of course, my last blog was about you. Today is a difficult day. Four years ago today, I held your hand one last time and sang songs to you, songs we used to listen to together.
My last post here, from October 11, 2022, what would have been your 56th birthday, was about prayer. Oh, how I wish we could pray together in this moment. I miss hearing you pray. I miss holding your hand as we prayed each night. I miss hearing your voice wake me up when I forgot so that we could pray together.
I miss a lot of things. I miss your smile. I miss your laughter. I miss your practical jokes, so many practical jokes at my expense. I’m laughing just thinking about them while also in tears. I miss your joy. You had such joy that you loved to share with those around you. Whenever I needed someone to talk to, you were always there to offer advice or to just listen. Even in the quiet stillness, your presence encouraged me more than words could express.
I wish I were not writing this open letter. I wish I had no reason to write this. I wish you were here. I would give anything to spend just one more day with you. I could tell all the things that have happened in the last four years.
I made so many friends at Truett Seminary. I wish I could introduce each one to you. I would tell you what fine ministers I know they are becoming. I would tell you how much each of them encourage me. I wish you could hear my friends Jordann, Jessalyn, Arnelle, Ralph, Madison, and Dmitri preach. I know you’d be the first one to encourage them to keep preaching the gospel. I wish you could share jokes with Kyle and me. You always had the best jokes.
I wish you were here to talk football with my friends Dylan and Matt. I know you would have many thoughts to share. I wish you were here to see my friends Torrence and Leah joyfully lead others in worship. You always loved singing hymns with me. I wish you could see Scott’s artwork knowing how much you loved seeing Granny’s art each day.
I wish you could meet Zach, my former roommate. I wish you could hear this gifted orator explain the gospel with such clarity and passion. I wish you could meet such a dear friend who means the world to me. I wish you could meet all these friends and more.
I also wish you could have visited Seventh & James Baptist Church, a church filled with amazing people I love dearly. I wish you could meet Matt and Erin. I know you would have expressed gratitude to them for mentoring your boy in ministry. I wish you could share puns with Dann and me. I wish you could see the ties Don has given me. I wish you could have gone to the Baylor Women’s game with Stan, Carolyn, and me.
I wish you could meet Dan and Sharon, a kind couple who have invited me into their home, cared for me when I had surgery, fed me more times than I can count, and loved me as if they were another set of grandparents to me. I wish you could meet Naymond and Carolyn, John and Dawn, Katie, Bill, Leslie, Carmen, Daryle and Robbie, Kent and Emily, and so many others who mean the absolute world to me.
I wish you could join us for hymn sings, potlucks, and Wednesday night gatherings. I wish you could hear our choir use their amazing voices to praise the name of God in unison. I wish you could meet our church’s youth, guided by our youth amazing minister, Scott, my dear friend whose art would make you go, “WOW!” I wish you could see the passion that these young teens have in caring for the world around them. I wish you could see how much they desire to share Christ’s radically inclusive love with others. I know they would inspire you as they have inspired me.
I wish I could tell you all I have learned, how I have grown in my faith and knowledge of Scripture. I wish you could meet Dr. Howard, Dr. Arterbury, Dr. Stroope, Dr. Tucker, Dr. York, Dr. Homeyer, Dr. Poe Hays, Dr. Boddie, Dr. Alcántara, and so many others who have encouraged me to be a better ambassador for Christ. I wish you could meet Nancy, Nancy, Jenn, Melissa, Emma, Jo Ann, and so many other staff members at Truett who made me smile every day. I wish you could have met Ruby and Bridgette who constantly encouraged my preaching. I wish you had been able to cheer me on as I earned my Master of Divinity.
I wish you could celebrate with me in a few days when I turn 30! I wish you could see the minister I am becoming. I wish you could hear me preach at small churches around central Texas. I wish you could meet the wonderful people I’ve met along the way, especially my friends at Oak Grove Cumberland Presbyterian Church who have shown me so much kindness as they continually affirm my calling to preach. I wish you could meet Don and Sherry and thank them for the ways they have been kind to your son.
There is so much I wish I could have shared with you these past four years. And yet, because of you, because of the faith you passed on to me, I have hope. I have hope that we will see each other again. It is a hope that carries me through difficult days like today. I have hope because you always reminded me that Christ Jesus gives us this hope.
I look forward to the day we will see each other again. What a day that will be! As the writer of Revelation reminds me, on that day, “God will wipe away every tear” (Rev. 7:17 NKJV). Until we meet again, see you later, Superman. I love you, with all my heart, beyond description.
And just as I did at your funeral, I’ll end by saying these words since the last movie we watched was Avengers: Endgame. Dad, I love you 3000!
Your son,
Joshua
What a Day That Will Be by Jim Hill
I Found the Answer by Mahalia Jackson
More Than Conquerors 