Monthly Archives: February 2018

Just As I Am: My Salvation Story

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grandcanyontrip7

Over the past several years, God has shown me that even in the midst of painful trials, disappointing circumstances, and daunting challenges, He is always right there with me. He constantly showers me with His unconditional love. He reminds me that His plans are always greater than my plans.

I have shared various parts of my testimony the past several years, and I still remember the first time I shared it at UMHB at the Worship in the Quad ministry I was so passionate about. Side note, it was in the BSM that night because of the cold weather. I remember friends approaching me afterwards, thanking me for inspiring them with my story. Each time someone would thank me for sharing, I have tried to remind them that they too have a testimony worth sharing with others. Every believer has a story worth sharing, so don’t let anyone convince you otherwise.

A few days ago, the world learned of the passing of the Reverend Billy Graham. Social media was filled with people from all walks of life paying tribute to one person who helped inspire so many around the world through his charismatic evangelizing of the Gospel. As I sat in my little office space at work, getting ready for another day of teaching, I was combing through social media, and I came across a quote attributed to Graham. It read, “Someday you will read or hear that Billy Graham is dead. Don’t you believe a word of it. I shall be more alive than I am now. I will just have changed my address. I will have gone into the presence of God.” Rev. Graham has now changed his address and is alive in the presence of God Almighty for all eternity.

As I have reflected on Graham’s impact on the lives of so many people, I remembered the impact he had on me growing up. I also remembered my own story of how I came to Christ. So, I thought I would share it with you here in this blog post.

On July 19, 2000, about a month before I started the first grade, I was at a Vacation Bible School at a church in Georgetown, TX. At a young age, I knew that Christ loved me more than I could possibly imagine and that I loved Christ more than anything else in the world. What I didn’t know was that the most important part of loving Christ was accepting Him into the heart, an act commonly referred to as becoming “saved.”

I still remember my bible school teacher approaching me and asking me if I wanted to become saved. I honestly didn’t know what that meant at the time. It sounded cool and I figured that it would probably be best to become “saved,” although I wasn’t sure what I was being saved from exactly. When I returned home, I couldn’t understand why my Nana was so excited. I remember asking her if all of this was really that important. She certainly assured me that it was.

Over the next several years, as a young kid, I had so many doubts. At one point I doubted if God really existed. That didn’t last long once I looked at all the nature around me and the stars in the sky and thought, “Well of course He exists.” Even then, however, as I understood more fully what salvation meant, I had doubts as to whether I was truly saved. After all, I didn’t understand what was going on at that Vacation Bible School. For the longest time I thought as if perhaps I wasn’t the person actually making that decision, rather someone made that decision for me. I wondered if I was genuinely a Christian.

These doubts were daily and consistent. I realized that the only way to erase these doubts was if I came to accept Christ into my life as my own decision, now that I knew what accepting Christ truly meant. After so many sermons, there would be invitations for anyone willing to take that most important step and accept Christ into their hearts.

Growing up, I remember watching various preachers in person and on television, and the one who seemed most encouraging on television was Billy Graham. I remember him sharing the Gospel in the simplest ways so that anyone could understand the beauty of God’s love and the plan of salvation. I remember hearing “Just As I Am” being played as hundreds of people walked to the stage to accept Christ. I remember understanding that this was something that needed to be done in my life, but always telling myself, I’ll do it next time. Next time. Next time.

The summer after my 7th grade year was one of the most depressing in my life. I was so miserably depressed that summer that although I never considered actually carrying it out, suicide became a recurring thought in my young mind. Before I continue, if you ever have these same thoughts and you wonder if life is worth living, let me tell you that you are important. God would not have made you if He didn’t have a purpose for your life. You are beautiful. You are loved. You are made in the image of a God who pursues you every second of every day. Please reach out to someone and remember that your life is worth living!

Also, if you have ever battled depression or anxiety, know that there is nothing wrong with you. It is not your fault that you are going through this. God is not punishing you. God loves you. I too have battled depression throughout my life, and I am here to tell you that even when I battle depression, I fall to my knees and ask God to guide my every step. I have hope and joy in these circumstances because I know of the unfailing love God has for me.

In the middle of this summer, I went to Youth Camp with some friends in Brownwood, Texas. One evening, a man who went by the name of Runks Runkles gave a sermon. I don’t have the slightest recollection what the sermon was about, but what I do remember is what happened afterwards. He asked if anyone wanted to pray a simple prayer, asking God into their lives. I prayed that prayer. He then asked those who prayed that prayer to stand. I stood, and as my friends, with their jaws dropped, looked at me, I understood right then, to this day no longer having any doubts, that I was saved. That night I had more joy than I have ever had or ever will have until I meet Jesus in Heaven, because I knew that I was a believer in Christ.

There are too many people in my life who inspired me to reach that point that I could never thank every single one of them. Billy Graham was one person who planted that seed in me that would later lead me to asking Christ in my life. Singers and songwriters, Bill and Gloria Gaither, were two others. One of my pastors growing up, Roy Smith, was another. Paul Cherry, an evangelist friend, was another. And of course, my awesome Dad and grandparents also instilled in me the value of trusting in Christ and putting my faith in Him alone. To everyone else, not mentioned here, I thank you as well!

Throughout my life since then, I have still faced many trials. From being diagnosed with Crohn’s Disease, living with constant pain since my freshman year in high school, watching my Dad struggle with cancer multiple times (and beating it multiple times), other loved ones struggling with pain and disease I could never possibly imagine, and still battling depression off and on, I have faced many hurdles in life and will continue to do so. God never promised me or anyone an easy life.

What He did promise me was that when I fully trust in Him, I can feel joy in the midst of pain. What He promised me was that even when I doubt, He still loves me unconditionally. Even when I question why bad things happen, He is still there, and He feels my pain, understands what I am going through, and He waits for me to once again turn back to Him, a Heavenly Father who loves me more than I could possibly fathom. Even when I ask for healing, ask for trials to end, ask for the desires of my heart, and He says “Wait” or just flat out “No,” I still trust that He is sovereign and that He still has a plan for me and will use me for His glory. And this gives me joy.

People may ask me why I have so much hope, so much joy, and so much peace. I would tell them that the answer is JESUS. If you’re reading this now, know that the answer is Jesus. For you and me, and for every other human being on this planet, He died a very painful and brutal death. He rose from the dead, and He will return one day to bring those who have accepted Him to live with Him for all eternity.

My Dad has definitely been an inspiration throughout my life’s story. To give you an example, I was struggling one day at college (Mary Hardin-Baylor) with my health problems. As I was struggling with this, my Dad, who was battling an infection after having beaten cancer the first time, text me some encouragement. Even as he was battling pain far worse than I can imagine, Dad texted me, “It came to me in my weakness, that God moves strong. He is shaping me into something awesome for His glory alone. Show me this text in a month and we’ll praise Him [Christ] together. Love you boy!” With Jesus Christ by his side, Dad overcame that infection in addition to beating cancer at least 3 times. What this example shows me is that even in the midst of painful trials, we can have hope in Christ Jesus. My Dad still reminds me of this daily.

I will tell you right now that you will still face struggles, but even in the midst of those struggles, you can still have joy in Christ Jesus. It all starts with accepting Him into your life. If you do this, you will still face many challenges, but you will have that assurance that Christ goes before you, that He is there to guide you throughout those challenges, and that one day, we will spend eternity with Christ and without any pain or sorrow. All you have to do is accept Christ into your life, trust in Him, and live for Him.

Please do not wait. You may not have tomorrow. You may not have the next hour. The time to accept Christ in your life is always right now.

If you are unsure of what to pray, pray this prayer.

“Lord Jesus, I come to you today, and I thank you for loving me so much. I understand that I am a sinner. I am truly sorry. I want to turn away from those sins and start following you. Please forgive me. I believe that you are God’s son, and that you died to take away my sins. I believe that you rose from the dead and will return for me someday. I understand that the only way to spend eternity in heaven is through you, Jesus. Come into my heart and save me. I love you and I want to follow you for the rest of my life. I ask you into my life. In your name, I pray, Amen.”

If you prayed that prayer, welcome to the family of God. Now, go tell others that you have asked Jesus Christ into your life, and share your story with others. Share what Christ has done in your life. I also encourage you to frequently read God’s Word. If you can’t afford a new Bible, biblegateway.com is a great resource that has the entire Bible in numerous translations. Always remember that you are beautiful and you are constantly pursued by a God who loves you so much.

If you still have questions, contact your local pastor, or you can email me at morethanconquerors839@gmail.com. I am praying for you and I love you.

Some words of encouragement:

For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life. – John 3:16 (NIV)

If you declare with your mouth, “Jesus is Lord,” and believe in your heart that God raised him from the dead, you will be saved. For it is with your heart that you believe and are justified, and it is with your mouth that you profess your faith and are saved. – Romans 10:9-10 (NIV)

Yahweh your God is among you, a warrior who saves. He will rejoice over you with gladness. He will bring you quietness with His love. He will delight in you with shouts of joy. – Zephaniah 3:17 (HCSB)

But God demonstrates his own love for us in this: While we were still sinners, Christ died for us. – Romans 5:8 (NIV)

Forever by Kari Jobe

Because He Lives by David Crowder Band (song originally by Bill and Gloria Gaither)

Our God is SOVEREIGN!

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Three years ago today, I started this blog. At first, it was a weekly thing where I would post about topics every seven days about what the Lord was showing me. Over time, I have blogged less and less. My last blog post was in August of last year. Although, it’s been a while since my last post, God has revealed His majesty to me time and time again. So with that, here is my first blog post of 2018.

For a few months, I have wanted to write this post as a reflection of the past year. I wanted to share about the good and the bad, and how I have pushed myself to rejoice in God’s goodness in each of those moments. This is something that has been true in my walk with Christ for some time. I have witnessed moments of pure joy and moments that were quite the opposite. In each circumstance, I have desired to do one thing, and that is to trust that God is sovereign.

God has a plan for each of our lives. He is the Sovereign King who knows how many hairs are on our head, how many grains of sand are on this planet, and how many atoms make up the vastness of the never-ending universe. Sometimes our plans don’t always pan out the way we had hoped. Take it from me. When I was in the 5th grade, I told one of my all-time favorite teachers, Mrs. Ross (now Mrs. Standridge), that I wanted to be a tap-dancing evangelist. Needless to say, those plans have changed. About a year and a half ago, I wanted to pursue a PhD in Political Science. That ended when I thought God was calling me to go to seminary. And that ended when I realized… NOPE… God was calling me to a life of teaching. Knowing how awesome God’s plans are, that can still change, however little the change or however dramatic the change.

2017 reminded me quite often that God is sovereign. There were certainly some trials and sad moments along the way. Last year, my Dad was battling cancer after having beaten it multiple times already. There were a few funerals I attended of people close to me. And in the beginning of the year, I was still struggling with what my future was going to look like. In each of those moments, God reminded me that He has been in control, He is in control, and He will always be in control.

I was reminded of God’s goodness when He surrounded me with Christ-like people along the way. When I lost loved ones, scores of people encouraged me in person and through social media. When I found out that Dad’s cancer came back, the BSM director prayed with me that night. The same night, 4 other friends prayed with me after we worshipped together under the starry sky. Throughout my life, as my plans continually changed in accordance with God’s plan for my life, countless people have encouraged me along the way.

While there were sad moments, 2017 also afforded me with joyous moments, and in these moments, God reminded me again and again that He is sovereign. I student-taught some awesome kids at my old high school, witnessed friends graduate, graduated myself, got a teaching job, and watched countless football games with friends and family. One of the best highlights was meeting up with some friends for the 2017 NCAA Division III Football National Championship game between Mary Hardin-Baylor and Mount Union after having travelled for about 1400 miles through the Deep South with my Superman Dad. Side note, Huey Lewis and AC/DC make great additions to any road trip playlist! After my alma mater’s team lost, they tweeted a verse that emphasizes that God is truly sovereign.

https://twitter.com/crufootball/status/941866844876664833

Even if things don’t go your way, remember that God is still good!

Like any other year, 2017 had moments of joy, happiness, excitement, sadness, and disappointment. Since a new cancer spot appeared on my Dad’s lung, it has since shrunk to the point that there really isn’t anything left. While I have delighted in the opportunity God gave me in my first year of teaching, I have shed tears for each of my students because of how much I care about seeing them strive to reach their fullest potential. I have also rejoiced with them and have encouraged them when they have received those “lightbulb” moments and when they have shared the good things happening in their lives.

2017 also reminded me that there is still so much darkness in our world. Natural disasters ravaged parts of Texas, Florida, Montana, California, Puerto Rico, the Virgin Islands, Mexico, and South Asia just to name a few. Rohingya Muslims in Myanmar and Christians in the Middle East are being persecuted, hate marches took place in Virginia, innocents were murdered at music festivals and in places of worship, homelessness still exists, human trafficking still exists, sexual assault still exists, and many children in the United States and around the world still don’t have quality access to a good education.

While I don’t have all the answers, while I don’t know for sure why bad things happen, and while I strive to become a voice for the voiceless, I still trust that God is sovereign. Even in the midst of tragedy, I am reminded of the goodness that humanity has the potential to display. When I see communities rally together to help those affected by hurricanes and fires, teachers advocating for the needs of their students and their schools, men and women empowering victims of sexual assault, religious leaders speaking out against racism and hate, and others raising awareness to those escaping war, famine, violence, and trafficking, I am reminded that there is always light in the midst of darkness.

No matter the circumstances in my life or in the lives of others around this world, I trust that God is sovereign. I trust that He has a plan. I trust in the promise that one day all nations will bow at the feet of a loving Heavenly Father and will rejoice in Christ the King.

There is neither Jew nor Gentile, neither slave nor free, nor is there male and female, for you are all one in Christ Jesus. – Galatians 3:28 (NIV)

9 After this I looked, and there before me was a great multitude that no one could count, from every nation, tribe, people and language, standing before the throne and before the Lamb. They were wearing white robes and were holding palm branches in their hands. 10 And they cried out in a loud voice:

“Salvation belongs to our God,
who sits on the throne,
and to the Lamb.”

11 All the angels were standing around the throne and around the elders and the four living creatures. They fell down on their faces before the throne and worshiped God, 12 saying:

“Amen!
Praise and glory
and wisdom and thanks and honor
and power and strength
be to our God for ever and ever.
Amen!”

13 Then one of the elders asked me, “These in white robes—who are they, and where did they come from?”

14 I answered, “Sir, you know.”

And he said, “These are they who have come out of the great tribulation; they have washed their robes and made them white in the blood of the Lamb. 15 Therefore,

“they are before the throne of God
and serve him day and night in his temple;
and he who sits on the throne
will shelter them with his presence.
16 ‘Never again will they hunger;
never again will they thirst.
The sun will not beat down on them,’
nor any scorching heat.
17 For the Lamb at the center of the throne
will be their shepherd;
‘he will lead them to springs of living water.’
‘And God will wipe away every tear from their eyes.’”

– Revelation 7:9-17 (NIV)

2017 reminded me, just as I know 2018 will continue to remind me, that no matter what comes in this life, good or bad, I serve a mighty God, and that all who believe in Him will one day rejoice with Him for all eternity. This is my hope. This is my prayer. That we learn to trust in God’s sovereignty!

New International Version. Bible Gateway. Web. 10 Feb. 2018.

Sovereign by Chris Tomlin

Trust in You by Lauren Daigle